The Jive and Live Five – Week 7

The Jive Five

28.   Vikings – Flashes of greatness from Christian Ponder, superstar play from Jared Allen – These guys won’t be here long.

29.   Cardinals – Kevin Kolb seems to have been a bad decision, they are slobbing Kolb!

30.   Dolphins – Up 15-0 with 3 minutes versus the Broncos, and they get a back slap from god himself!  There is no stopping Divine intervention.

31.   Rams – When you thought it couldn’t get any worse, Sam Bradford goes down with an injury. On the bright side, they should get a high draft pick to help out on offense.

32    Colts – Not sure what #5 means to this chick, but I am sure she didn’t paint the number on her body because Kerry Collins wears it.  Maybe it’s the number of dudes she hooked up with this weekend because of the Colts 62-7 loss to the Saints, either way its super hot.  What is not hot is her messy room!  What a slob!

Out of Jive - Jaguars

The Live Five

1.      Packers – Only undefeated team left and winter is approaching, now go try to beat them in Lambeau.

2.      Patriots – Pats, Pats, Pats…  Looks like a 13-3 year or better is inevitable.

3.     49ers – With Cleveland coming into town, looks like the Niners will keep rolling.

4.     Saints – 62-7, nuff said.   

5.      Steelers – Slow start, but Big Ben and the boys are back to their winning ways.

Out of Live – Lions, Ravens 

The Jive and Live Five – Week 6

The Jive Five

28.   Jaguars –This team should just move to L.A.

29.   Cardinals –Larry Fitzgerald got his contract, but that’s all he got.  Kurt Warner’s phone is ringing.

30.   Colts – Painter may be painting a life size portrait of Andrew Luck for Jim Irsay.

31.   Rams – The pick up of Brandon Lloyd should help this useless receiving corps, if Sam Bradford can get healthy they may step it up.

32    Dolphins - Matt Moore should change his name to Matt Less.  Good thing the Dolphin fans have girls like this to make life a bit more enjoyable during these rough times.

The Live Five

1.      Packers – Aaron Rodgers has lived up to his billing.  Will be top 3 overall fantasy pick in 2012 if he keeps it up.

2.      Ravens – Next three are Jags, Cardinals and Seahawks.  I don’t see them losing.

3.     Patriots – The Cowboys played them tough, but Brady was Brady again in the final 2 minutes.  

4.     49ers -  Jim Harbaugh may get this team to 13-3 and have a first round bye in the playoffs.  Amazing being they did NOTHING during the off season.

5.      Lions – I am convinced that the Lions lost Sunday’s game because the Booty Lounge was impounded.  Free the Booty Lounge! 

Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh - Hard Asses

There was a scuffle at the end of the 49ers 25-19 victory over the Lions yesterday.  Jim Schwartz took offense to the end of game greeting by Jim Harbaugh and went balistic causing the friction to escalate.  If you read Schwartz's lips, it looks like he's saying "What the F*ck?," before he charges back at the 49er Head Coach. According the the post game interviews, Schwartz felt like Harbaugh was being disrespectful and mentioned that a profanity may have been said during the encounter. 

During Harbaugh's post game press conference, he took full blame for the disagreement as he said, "I was just really revved up, and it's totally on me," Harbaugh went on, "I shook his hand too hard. I mean, I really went in and it was a strong kind of a slap, grab handshake. It was kind of like the same as I've been doing with (some 49ers players). So, that was on me." I sense a bit of sarcasim in that statement. 

B.J. the Greek - Week 3 Picks

Patriots -8 at Bills
Bill Belichick has won 15 straight against the Bills. Buffalo was down 21-3 at home, at the half against a below average offense in the Oakland Raiders last week. They ended up surrendering 38 points to the Raiders in a thrilling last second comeback win. Patriots put up 40+ and cover the touchdown and show the Bills who is still the BULLY of the AFC East.
* Buy down to -7 at -130
(Patriots 2-0 WL, 2-0 ATS) (Bills 2-0 WL, 1-1 ATS)

Chargers -14.5 vs Chiefs
Can it get any worse for the Chiefs? YES!!! They have been outscored 89-10 in their first two games heading into San Diego this week. They will be without Jamaal Charles, Eric Berry, and Tony Moeaki all not playing due to injuries. The Chargers hung tough in New England last week losing 35-21. Expect 30+ points from the Chargers and a big game from Antonio Gates who was held without a reception last week in New England. San Diego wins BIG and will have that -14 covered by halftime.
* Buy down to -13.5 at -130
(Chargers 1-1 WL, 0-2 ATS) (Chiefs 0-2 WL, 0-2 ATS)

Steelers -10.5 at Colts
The Colts lost last week to the Browns at home by 8 points, I expect the Steelers to at least double that win difference. Expect incompletions and interceptions from Kerry Collins. If the Steelers score 21+ they will cover as the Colts will not score more than 10 points in this game. Mike Tomlin is only 8-14 as road favorite since taking over as HC of the Steelers in 2007, but expect the Steelers D to stifle a weak Colts offense, and a nice balance of the run, pass and a few big plays from Mike Wallace and the Steelers ROLL to an easy cover.
* Buy down to -9.5 at -130
(Steelers 1-1 WL, 1-1 ATS) (Colts 0-2 WL, 0-2 ATS)

Bonus Picks
Dolphins +2.5 at Browns
Dolphins are 18-6 ATS under HC Tony Sparano on the road. No shame in starting 0-2 against two teams that will be in the playoffs this year (Patriots & Texans). Browns have played two of the worst teams in the NFL this year, losing the Bengals in week 1 and beating the Colts last week. Colt McCoy has show progression from last year, but does not have the weapons on offense to make a difference. Rookie Daniel Thomas rushed for 107 yards on 18 carries last week for the Dolphins. Expect Thomas, Bush, Marshall, and Bess to do enough on offense to get Miami its first WIN of the year.
(Dolphins 0-2 WL, 0-2 ATS) (Browns 1-1 WL, 1-1 ATS)
* Buy up to +3.5 at -150

49ers +2.5 at Bengals
Not an Andy Dalton fan at all. Didn’t like him at TCU and think he will be a below average QB in the NFL. Not that I love Alex Smith, but the 49ers played well last week against the Cowboys. Poor decision by HC Harbaugh to keep the field goal on the board and not kill more clock to possibly score a touchdown. I’m feeling Frank Gore will have that big game that he has once every six games. Vernon Davis will bust out this week and find the end zone. Bengals are 2-12 as favorites since 2009. 49ers are the BETTER team and will scrape out a win in Cincy on Sunday.
* Buy up to +3.5 at -150
(49ers 1-1 WL, 1-0-1 ATS) (Bengals 1-1 WL, 2-0 ATS)

Last week 3-1
W- Steelers (-14) covered easy in a 24-0 win.
W - Jets (-9.5) crushed the Jaguars 32-3.
W - Cowboys (ML) win 27-24 in OT.
L – Packers -9.5, only a 4-yard TD run by Cam Newton with 37 seconds left prevented a 4-0 week from the Greek.