Showing posts with label Tom Brady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tom Brady. Show all posts

Friday, September 30, 2011

Tom Bradys Ugg Boots Deal

You know why most of the world hates Tom Brady? Because he's so confident in his ability to pull hot models that he can take an endorsement from UGG's Boots and not be phased. That's right UGG's, not Reebok or Campbell's Hearty Soup. UGG's are those tan furry boots that are popular with slutty college girls and Australian surfers. On that note, I still don't get how surfers wear these on the beach and still end up sleeping with tons of study-abroad co-eds. I guess this is how fashion trends/epidemics start, similar to the 1970's Pan Am stewardess that banged the first AIDS Monkey. I imagine five years ago some Aussie surfer, banged an American college chick on vacation. She saw his kicks and returned to the USA with a pair of furry boots and a side of Herpes. She told her friends, one of which met Tom Brady in Buffalo and proceeded to give him head in the parking lot of a Ramada Inn. Once finished, he booted her from the car and tried on her boots. "These are great" screamed a pants-less Tom Brady as he proceeded to call his agent and told him, "Forget Nike, get me an Ugg's Deal!"

I don't care how many touchdowns you throw, there is nothing you can do to make UGG's masculine.

Brady Turns Into a Cutter after 4 Interception Performance


Tired of being overshadowed by Curtis Painter's 'do, the Pats' golden boy decided to cut his flowing locks this week. Yes, the same flowing locks that were once dissed by Randy Moss, prompting Brady to have Robert Kraft ship his ass out of town. Word out of Foxborough is that Brady went from looking like a girl in Uggs to looking like a girl with a boy's haircut in Uggs. No word on if Brady was attempting to return to his look from the 2000 NFL Draft Combine.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Tom Brady on Fire!

"Uncle" Tom Brady fed his children last night with 517 yards passing and 4 touchdowns, good enough for 5th all time in NFL history.  The Unc, known for his fine taste in women and his love of irish twins went off last night against a solid Miami defense.  All of that still doesn't make up for the fact that he likes to hold baby goats tightly in his spare time.