Friday, September 30, 2011

Fullback Terrell Suggs



The Baltimore Ravens plan to use Terrell Suggs on offense at fullback.
Check out the quotes from the Baltimore Sun:

Suggs:
"I am a defensive football player, so I only understand defense," Suggs said. "What I do know is that Cam [Cameron] is working me in on offense, getting some fullback — a little something to just try to get the ball in my hands. Like King James [Miami Heat forward LeBron James], you get the ball in my hands, good things happen — with the exception of the [NBA] Finals. It's cool. We're working on something."

Ravens offensive coordinator Cam Cameron:
"We want to get as many good players out there as we can. It's his idea. He's not bashful. I guess he got tired of asking to be a tight end, so hey, we'll stick him in there at fullback and see what he thinks."

Tom Bradys Ugg Boots Deal

You know why most of the world hates Tom Brady? Because he's so confident in his ability to pull hot models that he can take an endorsement from UGG's Boots and not be phased. That's right UGG's, not Reebok or Campbell's Hearty Soup. UGG's are those tan furry boots that are popular with slutty college girls and Australian surfers. On that note, I still don't get how surfers wear these on the beach and still end up sleeping with tons of study-abroad co-eds. I guess this is how fashion trends/epidemics start, similar to the 1970's Pan Am stewardess that banged the first AIDS Monkey. I imagine five years ago some Aussie surfer, banged an American college chick on vacation. She saw his kicks and returned to the USA with a pair of furry boots and a side of Herpes. She told her friends, one of which met Tom Brady in Buffalo and proceeded to give him head in the parking lot of a Ramada Inn. Once finished, he booted her from the car and tried on her boots. "These are great" screamed a pants-less Tom Brady as he proceeded to call his agent and told him, "Forget Nike, get me an Ugg's Deal!"

I don't care how many touchdowns you throw, there is nothing you can do to make UGG's masculine.

Kicker Robbed by Chinese Delivery Guy!


A 22 year old Chinese food delivery guy was arrested and charged with stealing a bag of golf clubs from Atlanta Falcons kicker Matt Bryant's house. Kristian Vail, 22 is the person charged with the felony burglary, was busted trying to sell the clubs on the internet. "He went into the open garage, took the clubs, delivered the food and went on his way," Braselton Police Assistant Chief Lou Solis stated. You think this guy would rob golf clubs from Ray Lewis? I think NOT! Kickers, NO RESPECT!

I hope we have all learned one big lesson from this, and that is PIZZA & WINGS!!!
Figures a kicker would order the Poo Poo platter.

Bianca La Russa on the PUP List

This fine thing is the offspring of 2 time World Series champion Tony La Russa. She is also a rookie cheerleader for the Oakland Raiders. Unfortunately, she recently injured her back (3 herniated disks) and wont be on the sidelines this year. Lets hope she fully recovers so you can stare at her on national TV in the near future. Good job Tony, you have made the world a little better for all of us!

Brady Turns Into a Cutter after 4 Interception Performance


Tired of being overshadowed by Curtis Painter's 'do, the Pats' golden boy decided to cut his flowing locks this week. Yes, the same flowing locks that were once dissed by Randy Moss, prompting Brady to have Robert Kraft ship his ass out of town. Word out of Foxborough is that Brady went from looking like a girl in Uggs to looking like a girl with a boy's haircut in Uggs. No word on if Brady was attempting to return to his look from the 2000 NFL Draft Combine.

Tim Tebow Billboard hits the Streets!


The first Tim Tebow billboard has been seen on I-25 north of downtown Denver saying, "Broncos Fans to John Fox: Play Tebow!!"  Sort of wack if you ask me, this billboard will never work.

If a fan really wanted to make an impression, they should have used the below picture and said, "Broncos Fans to John Fox: Tebow carries 300 pound lineman for fun, let him carry your team this year!" Just Sayin'

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Fantasy Scholar's Week 4 Picks

I've finished writing the algorithms, run all the numbers and the flux capacitor has spit out the results of this weekends match-ups.


Steelers (+4) @ the Texans - I'm not sure when the last time the Steelers were 4 point dogs but it feels like eons ago. I'm going to take advantage of this anomaly and put some coin on them this weekend. The Texans are much improved on defense with Wade Phillips arrival and the signing of Jonathan Joseph. And they have a legitimate shot of winning this game. Steelers looked unimpressive in primetime last Sunday night but I still like their chances this weekend. Take the points.





Saints (-6.5) @ the Jaguars - Let's start by saying the Jags have outright won 2 of the last 3 meetings between these teams. Saints are 2-1 ATS this season and the Jags are 1-2 ATS. They're starting a rookie QB who struggled against the Panthers last week albeit in a torrential downpour. 86% of the bets have gone on the Saints -6.5 pts. Could be a trap game with the Saints looking ahead to those same Panthers. I think they take care of business since they've already lost an NFC game to the Pack on opening night. Lay the points.





Eagles (-8.5) vs. the 49ers - Ok.... I know the Eagles have struggled this season. Their vaunted "Dream Team" has holes all over the place. Especially in the trench's where games are won and lost. They built a Dream Team House of Cards. But it looks as if Vick will play and even if he doesn't, the E-A-G-L-E-S have enough playmakers on both sides of the ball to cover 9 pts against the Niners at the Linc.





Bonus


Chiefs (+1.5) vs. the Vikings - Vikes have managed to invent new ways to lose this year. Chiefs actually showed some signs of life last week.

Guru - Week 4 Picks


Jets +3.5 at the Ravens
These teams played last year on opening day and the Ravens won that contest 10-9. This game will be close again, Rex will have his team ready to play after that sub-par performance last week against the Raiders.
Redskins Pick’em at the Rams
The Rams have been making so many mistakes and have been playing some of the worst football in the NFL. The Skins look much improved, and I expect them to pick up the road win at St.Louis this week to stay in the NFC east mix.
Patriots -4 at the Raiders
The Pats were ambushed by a series of great plays by the Bills last week, and were stunned by losing to them for the first time in 15 games. I expect Belichick to have his team ready for the Raiders this week, they should win by more than a touchdown.

Bonus Pick
Vikings -1.5 at the Chiefs
The Vikings are playing great ball in the first half of games so far this year, only to break down after half time and lose. They will jump on the Chiefs early again, but this time they will hold on for the win.

Twitter Beef in Philly



Philadelphia sports radio personality and WCAU-TV contributor Howard Eskin reported that two Philadelphia Eagle reporters came to blows over a Twitter Beef! Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer called Les Bowen of the Philadelphia Daily News an "old hack that hasn't broken a story in years."

Below is a look at the Twitter BEEF:

"@LesBowen: Oh, and BTW, nobody has any idea on Tuesday whether Michael Vick is starting this week. It was Obvious Monday Andy thinks/hopes he will."

"@Jeff_McLane: @LesBowen Right. I made it up. How about if Vick starts Sunday you have to say on Daily News Live, "I'm an old hack that hasn't broken a story in years, needs my editor to keep my blog fresh, and missed Vick on Monday because I was cluelessly tapping away on my computer and had to steal quotes from hard-working reporters who have a clue." If Vick doesn't start I'll eat my pencil. Sound good?

"@LesBowen: @MoorestownCup I will handle my business in person, not thru yapping on Twitter. But thanks for your concern."
Bowen at least had the balls to back up his talk and allegedly threw a haymaker to McLane’s head that connected!!! No word on if Bowen trains at Rocky Balboa's gym.

Here is the BEST part, during Michael Vick's media session Eagles cornerback Asante Samuel tried to schedule a rematch of the fight in the locker room or at practice. During Samuel's interview his teammates were shouting in the background to try to get the fight started.

Maybe Andy Reid staged the whole thing to divert attention away from the Eagles and how much they suck?

Bowen has covered the Eagles for the Daily News since 2002 and McLane started covering the Eagles for The Inquirer in 2009.

Drunk Chicks Fighting at a Lions Game!



Stripper buses in the parking lot! Drunk chicks fighting in the stands!
The Detroit Lions really are the feel good story of the 2011 NFL season.
I'd personally like to invite the two ladies in the video over to watch the Lions game this week with B.J. the Greek. I've been looking for classy chicks like you two all my life!

B.J. the Greek - Week 4 Picks


Saints -6.5 at Jaguars
I’ll go against a rookie QB on a bad team any day. Gabbert was a pedestrian 12/21 for 139 yards and 1 interception last week. Prefer the Saints and Drew Brees to score 30+ and cover the 6.5 rather easy. Jaguars will fall behind early which will limit Maurice Jones Drew’s production. The Saints are averaging 35 ppg while the Jaguars are only at 10 ppg. Expect the Saints to get up early, Ingram to find the end zone, and the New Orleans to win in a LAUGHER against one of the worst teams in the NFL.
(Saints 2-1 WL, 2-1 ATS) (Jaguars 1-2 WL, 1-2 ATS)

Patriots -4 at Raiders
Let me put this out there, I am a Raiders fan. They are going to get KILLED in this game. I know my team, and there is going to be a major letdown after beating the Jets. Tom Brady will be super focused after matching his season total for interceptions from last year of four in one game against the Bills last week. Points will be scored, but I LOVE Bill Belichick coming off a loss. Patriots have covered 5/6 as road favorites recently.
(Patriots 2-1 WL, 2-1 ATS) (Raiders 2-1 WL, 3-0 ATS)

Falcons -4.5 at Seahawks
Nothing to like about Seattle at all. Still not sure how Tarvaris Jackson is a starting NFL quarterback, actually I’m not even sure he was even a backup quarterback. The Falcons will score early with a well balanced attack on offense. Matt Ryan to Roddy White all day, and Turner gets his touches and td’s. Falcons know they can’t afford to fall further behind the Saints and will NEVER be in doubt of covering the 4.5 points in this one.
(Falcons 1-2 WL, 1-2 ATS) (Seahawks 1-2 WL, 1-2 ATS)

Bills -3 at Bengals
Andy Dalton = Akili Smith, they both SUCK! The Bengals are without Cedric Benson and have no real backup for him. This puts even more pressure on Dalton who threw two picks last week. The Bills offense is hot, and hopefully the spot on the S.I. cover is not a jinx this week. Fred Jackson is very much underrated and will have a big game running and receiving. Expect more of Fitzpatrick to Stevie Johnson and the Bills put another 30+ spot on the scoreboard in route to an easy COVER.
(Bills 3-0 WL, 2-1 ATS) (Bengals 1-2 WL, 2-1 ATS)

Bears -6.5 vs Panthers
The Bears will be hungry coming off two losses to playoff teams (Packers and Saints). Three weeks ago this is a 10+ spread, but thanks to the Cam Newton hype we get this at under a touchdown. Julius Peppers playing against his former team. Definitely can see Urlacher and the Bears D pumped up to squash the Newton hype. Mike Martz will get the offense going and the Panthers are depleted at the LB spot. Expect something in the neighborhood of a 27-13 final with the Bears covering EASILY.
(Bears 1-2 WL, 1-2 ATS) (Panthers 1-2 WL, 2-1 ATS)

Last Week 2-3
L Patriots (-8) blow a 21-0 lead
L Chargers (-14.5) reminded never again to a take Norv Turner double-didget favored team
L Steelers (-10.5) Steelers looked bored
W Dolphins (+2.5) covering all game
W 49ers (+2.5) Andy Dalton sucks

The Real Reason the Detroit Lions are "Winning" - The Booty Lounge!


Somebody in Detroit has purchased a black and red party bus, filled it with two stages, steel poles, tinted windows, a smoke machine, and naked girls, then parked it in front of popular Lions tailgating spots on Sundays and is asking a donation for entry. That someone is a genius!

Unfortunately, the Detroit Police Department Robocop Division doesn't think so and aren't taking kindly to this "illegal" activity. Come On! I think this bus is the reason the Lions are on this winning streak, let the bus exist!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

NFL London


NFL commissioner Roger Goodell informed the SportsBusiness Journal yesterday that two games will be played overseas during next year’s NFL regular season. The SportsBusiness Journal reports that BOTH games will be played in London. London’s Wembley Stadium has hosted an NFL regular season game since 2007. This year’s game on October 23rd will feature the Chicago Bears vs. the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Tampa Bay will be the “home” team meaning they will actually only play seven games at Raymond James Stadium, their normal home stadium. Malcolm Glazer the Buccaneers owner is ALSO the owner of the English Premier Soccer team Manchester United.

It looks like Goodell is trying to copy NBA commissioner David Stern’s lead by marketing the NFL overseas. The NBA has been very successful in expanding its brand in Europe and Asia. Starting with the hype of the Dream Team playing in the 1992 Summer Olympic in Barcelona, basketball has severely increased in popularity over the past two decades outside of the US. This was cumulated in the fact that the USA team did not win the 2004 Olympic gold medal in basketball, something they easily we able to win in the previous three Summer Olympic games.

Will London one day have its own NFL team? Only time will tell. I am sure the west coast teams will enjoy that 12+ hour flight to London! Expanding into Canada makes more sense. The game is played in Canada already; Canada has its own football league the CFL, and an existing fan base. The Buffalo Bills are in the middle of a five year agreement to play one home game in Toronto until 2012.

I’d be annoyed if I am a Buccaneers or Bills fan. Play a pre-season game overseas! Do not take away one of the only eight regular season home games that I can attend as a fan each year. Talking with all my friends in London today, the NFL is a novelty. They have their own “football” which is soccer. What’s next? "Hello fans, Jim Nance and Phil Simms here live from Kazakhstan for Super Bowl XLL!!!"

Colts to sign Orlovsky, Painter back to working on his hair.

Kerry Collins was a terrible signing, Orlovsky may be a little better..  Do you think the Colts skipped on David Garrard because of money?  I hope not.  Do you think the Colts are throwing away the year to get Andrew Luck and groom him like the Packers did with Aaron Rodgers?  Crazier things have happened.

I don't care what the Scholar says, This guy is a clown:

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

WWT pickups for week 4


Curtis Painter QB: COLTS – You may be tempted to wait another week on waivers but Jim Irsay admitted it’s unlikely Manning will play this year. Silverback Collins was a waste of a signing so I think Painter is the guy for the majority of the season. With this supporting cast, his upside is huge. If you have the space and are thin at QB he’s worth a stash on your bench. It’s going to take some time for the Colts to learn to play without Peyton as he was a pseudo head coach but I think the team is rounding into shape. If they can hang with the Steelers they have a shot in any game. With 12 team leagues and everyone having at least 2 qb's and only 32 starters, owning any starting QB becomes a premium as the season gets a bit long in the tooth. Owning the QB in this offense could pay huge dividends. I’m not saying Painter will be a stud, but you don’t have to put a lot of scratch together to find out.

Stevan Ridley RB: PATRIOTS– I’ve owned this kid in a keeper league I’m in since draft day. And I already like what I see. Belicheat has inserted Ridley at key spots of the game the last two weeks. We’re not talking garbage time reps here. He’s basically garnered at least a 65/35 share of the RB reps and last week he led the team in rushing with 7 rushes for 44 yards and added one catch for 8 yards. If you missed it this kid lit it up in preseason and I am a firm believer that he becomes the lead back in this RBBC. Now the beauty of this kid’s skill set is he won’t be marginalized by Brady throwing it 50 times a game. He’s got great hands and can contribute mightily in the passing game. Woodhead and BJGE get downgrades this week and Ridley gets a HUGE upgrade. He’s my (POW) Pickup-Of-the-Week.

Antonio Brown WR: STEELERS – He was my POW last week but in case you missed it or you just ignored my advice I’m putting him on here again. He didn’t disappoint with a 4 for 75 performance. Back to back weeks putting up decent stats now… he was targeted a team high 8x by Roethlisberger this week. It’s only a matter of time before he BREAKS OUT and you want him on your team when that happens. I’m begging you, if he’s still available in your league, put a claim in. He’s going to be starting in your lineup sooner rather than later.

Jared Cook TE: TITANS– I was high on this kid in the preseason and he’s disappointed me and everyone else since. And it’s not because the passing game wasn’t clicking. Hasselbeck has been a great addition for the Titans. The loss of Britt for the season means someone has to pick up the slack. Nate Washington seems to have a great rapport with Tim but the remaining depth chart leaves something to be desired. Lavelle Hawkins, Damian Williams? C’mon… please. They’ll probably sign Justin Gage who’s a free agent and maybe Randy or TO’s agents will get a call. Either way the running game is struggling and the main benefactor of Britt’s untimely demise will be Jared Cook. Another repeat appearance on this list along with Brown means two things. If you picked him up, don’t drop him based on his weak performance the last three weeks (5 for 56 and zero td’s on the year). That’s on the order of what I will come to expect to be an average DAY for Cook going forward. Secondly, if you didn’t pick him up, he might not be high on your competitions waiver priority lists so you might be able to grab him as your second waiver addition of the week.

Hopefully you already own Brown based on my recommendation last week. This week it’s time to add Ridley first and foremost and then Cook if you can. Ridley is the priority add this week.

The Live and Jive Five - Week 3


On this blog, as you can see, we try to accentuate the faults in professionals.  It’s just more fun to do, so without haste here is my: picks

The Jive Five (AKA the Luck Five)
28.   Eagles – No way they are on this list at the end of the year, but it is fun to put them on here after that terrible loss versus the Giants.  Team is way too overconfident.
29.   Vikings – 3 big first half leads, 3 losses.  Can’t just be bad conditioning.
30.   Colts – The QB situation is probably as bad as it gets, you have an old man and a part time painter to choose from.  They put all their eggs in one basket.
31.   Chiefs – The only one that hasn’t torn an ACL on this team is the coach.  I hear he is looking to get hurt too in order to collect workers comp.
32     Rams – Playing so poorly that even the refs want to punch them in the face.
Here are the top teams in the NFL, not nearly as much fun to write about.
The Live Five
1.       Packers – Top Dogs, they should be Lambeau leaping all year.
2.       Saints – Only blemish is their road loss to the Pack on opening night.
3.       Lions – Came back from 20-0 to beat the Vikings on the road. Lions looking good, Vikings looking real bad.
4.       Ravens – The offense lost a bunch of players, but is looking more potent than ever.
5.       Bills – That’s right! Buffalo beat New England for the first time in 387 attempts.  The Bills now know what all other business owners have known for a while, always target Harvard grads to head your most important business unit.

Week 3 - Pick Results

The Guru and BJ went 0-3 on the competition picks, but BJ made amends with wins on his 2 bonus picks.  The Scholar jumped into 1st place going 2-1, pulling out a cover with the Redskins in the MNF match-up.

 GuruScholarBJ
Pick 1Falcons +1.5Chargers -14.5Chargers -14.5
Pick 2Steelers -10.5Packers -3.5Pats -8
Pick 3Lions -3.5Redskins +5.5Steelers -10.5
Week 30-3-02-1-00-3-0
Season2-4-03-3-02-4-0
Bonus0-0-00-1-03-0-0


Joe Namath does not want Rex Ryan to kiss the Jets A's!



Hall of Fame Quarterback Joe Namath was on the Michael Kay radio program knocking the preparation methods of Coach Rex Ryan and his staff.  Seems like Namath wants Rex to prepare like he did for the interview he did with Suzy Kolber a few years back.  Here were his statements:

"It's rather alarming," Namath said, "It starts at the top. Coach Rex Ryan, he's been doing a great job, getting us to two conference championship games, but there's one thing about the athlete: You keep telling him how good he is, he's going to start believing it to the point that he may not be preparing quite the way he should. He may be losing some respect for the other team."  Saying further, "I think these guys might be believing that they're better than they are," Namath said. "Rex has been the only coach that we know, in maybe the history of the game that I'm familiar with, that keeps continually telling his guys how good they are."

Rex shot back later in the same show with, "I'm not going to change who I am because Joe Namath said something. Namath can come in here, and if he can still throw, we'll have him as a backup quarterback. But you know what? He doesn't know our team. He's on the outside. Even though he's a Jet, and once you're a Jet, you're always a Jet, but he's on the outside."

Honestly, I feel this all may be a ploy to get Namath back to a Jets game so he can finally make out with Suzy!  I'd love to see that!

Monday, September 26, 2011

CJ2K looks like CJ200


Last night Chris Johnson Tweeted “At least we still winning will get this fixed very soon.”  Obviously he is referring to his anemic 2011 statistics.
In the first 3 games he has accumulated a total 98 total rushing yards (2.1 YPC) and 0 TD’s, good enough for a tie with Cam Newton in 36th place. This must be giving all of you fantasy owners who took a flyer on the non-training camp attendee in the first round fits.
Not 100% sure if he has Tourettes, but I am sure that he is known to shake both on and off the field.  Seems like he is working on getting his on field shaking back in form to justify the huge deal he recently held out for. 

Colts are now Painted!


Although Big Ben Rothlessrapest squeezed out of that bathroom stall of a Sunday night game with a win, the steel city almost was left with the taste of Paint(er) chips in their mouth. Once I saw Kerry “Silverback” Collins go down, I knew exactly what would follow, due to previous performance. Curtis Painter single handily blew a 2nd half lead in week 16 of 2009 season, which allowed the Jets to make the playoffs and brought on their 1st of two AFC championship runs. "The Painter" (given the nickname for his weekday job) played his usual game, doing everything humanly possible to lose.

The Colts are fully feeling the wrath of not having an NFL caliber back up QB. Colts owner, Jim Irsey had this to say about Painter before tweeting that Peyton Manning may be back in the end of 2011, "Isn’t our current quarterback the guy that recently painted my house?" Yes Jim, he is!

Kenny Britt - Out for the 2011 Season


Both the Titans and Kenny Britt(ney) owners are cringing right now because the AFC leading receiver is out for the year with torn ACL and MCL ligaments (Pending MRI confirmation today). The injury may be a result of bad Karma for the Bayonne New Jersey native, who has been arrested twice this year.

Maybe he can call his girl Britney and see is she can help speed up the rehabilitation process.  Britt was once quoted "Only Britney can bring out that dumb look on my face."

Michael Vick blames the referees for broken hand

Do you think Michael Vick went into the locker room to get an x-ray, or was he going to change his tampon during yesterday’s loss to the Giants? “I’m on the ground everytime”. Michael, this is the National Football League, all quarterbacks get hit. There is an opening in B.J. the Greek’s flag football league if he does not like playing tackle football.
“No flag, broke my hand”
“Still didn’t get a flag”
“That’s the story the last three weeks”
“Not to blame the refs”
Um, you did blame the refs!!! And even if the referee threw the flag your hand would still be broken.
But on the positive side, I like his use of the word “dissertation” in the video clip. Do you think he learned that at VA Tech or in prison?

Michael Vick Breaks his Hand


Maybe it only seems like Ron Mexico has accumulated more injuries than a Mexican Drug Cartel over years, but either way his ownership for fantasy owners is a tough go.

Vick broke his right (non-throwing) hand yesterday in the Eagles crushing 29-16 loss to the Giants. It’s the second week in the row that Vick has had to leave a game because of injury; last week he suffered a concussion in the loss against the Falcons.

With his reckless style of play, he is and always will be susceptible to injury. So in my eyes, the Gals awarding a player like Vick a $100 million contract was very dangerous proposition, which will most likely backfire on them. When he is on the field he can change the game in one play, the problem is keeping him on the field to do so.

Now you can follow us on Twitter! @nflfootballguru



Follow @nflfootballguru on twitter!

Here are a few highlight tweets yesterday and post tweet comments in bold.

11:57 AM - Foster, Hillis and Gates all out today. (Keeping you guys up)
2:19 PM - Not looking good for Kenny Britt owners (Britt out for the year)
2:21 PM - Monsoon at the #Jags #Panthers game. Craziness.. Safe to say Cam wont have 400 again. (Cam didn't even toss for 200 yards)
2:42 PM - @damienwoody lions will make a run at this game (Woody said the Lions are drinking the kool-aid - down 20-0, they came back to win)
5:23 PM - @marshallfaulk preseason is only good for stealing money from the fans (after Faulk called out the Rams for not playing up to their preseason levels)

Check us out!!!

Friday, September 23, 2011

B.J. the Greek - Week 3 Picks

Patriots -8 at Bills
Bill Belichick has won 15 straight against the Bills. Buffalo was down 21-3 at home, at the half against a below average offense in the Oakland Raiders last week. They ended up surrendering 38 points to the Raiders in a thrilling last second comeback win. Patriots put up 40+ and cover the touchdown and show the Bills who is still the BULLY of the AFC East.
* Buy down to -7 at -130
(Patriots 2-0 WL, 2-0 ATS) (Bills 2-0 WL, 1-1 ATS)

Chargers -14.5 vs Chiefs
Can it get any worse for the Chiefs? YES!!! They have been outscored 89-10 in their first two games heading into San Diego this week. They will be without Jamaal Charles, Eric Berry, and Tony Moeaki all not playing due to injuries. The Chargers hung tough in New England last week losing 35-21. Expect 30+ points from the Chargers and a big game from Antonio Gates who was held without a reception last week in New England. San Diego wins BIG and will have that -14 covered by halftime.
* Buy down to -13.5 at -130
(Chargers 1-1 WL, 0-2 ATS) (Chiefs 0-2 WL, 0-2 ATS)

Steelers -10.5 at Colts
The Colts lost last week to the Browns at home by 8 points, I expect the Steelers to at least double that win difference. Expect incompletions and interceptions from Kerry Collins. If the Steelers score 21+ they will cover as the Colts will not score more than 10 points in this game. Mike Tomlin is only 8-14 as road favorite since taking over as HC of the Steelers in 2007, but expect the Steelers D to stifle a weak Colts offense, and a nice balance of the run, pass and a few big plays from Mike Wallace and the Steelers ROLL to an easy cover.
* Buy down to -9.5 at -130
(Steelers 1-1 WL, 1-1 ATS) (Colts 0-2 WL, 0-2 ATS)

Bonus Picks
Dolphins +2.5 at Browns
Dolphins are 18-6 ATS under HC Tony Sparano on the road. No shame in starting 0-2 against two teams that will be in the playoffs this year (Patriots & Texans). Browns have played two of the worst teams in the NFL this year, losing the Bengals in week 1 and beating the Colts last week. Colt McCoy has show progression from last year, but does not have the weapons on offense to make a difference. Rookie Daniel Thomas rushed for 107 yards on 18 carries last week for the Dolphins. Expect Thomas, Bush, Marshall, and Bess to do enough on offense to get Miami its first WIN of the year.
(Dolphins 0-2 WL, 0-2 ATS) (Browns 1-1 WL, 1-1 ATS)
* Buy up to +3.5 at -150

49ers +2.5 at Bengals
Not an Andy Dalton fan at all. Didn’t like him at TCU and think he will be a below average QB in the NFL. Not that I love Alex Smith, but the 49ers played well last week against the Cowboys. Poor decision by HC Harbaugh to keep the field goal on the board and not kill more clock to possibly score a touchdown. I’m feeling Frank Gore will have that big game that he has once every six games. Vernon Davis will bust out this week and find the end zone. Bengals are 2-12 as favorites since 2009. 49ers are the BETTER team and will scrape out a win in Cincy on Sunday.
* Buy up to +3.5 at -150
(49ers 1-1 WL, 1-0-1 ATS) (Bengals 1-1 WL, 2-0 ATS)

Last week 3-1
W- Steelers (-14) covered easy in a 24-0 win.
W - Jets (-9.5) crushed the Jaguars 32-3.
W - Cowboys (ML) win 27-24 in OT.
L – Packers -9.5, only a 4-yard TD run by Cam Newton with 37 seconds left prevented a 4-0 week from the Greek.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Scholar's Week 3 Picks

Chargers -14.5 vs. the Chiefs
Chiefs have scored 10 points total in both games. They lost their best weapon on offense and it sucked to begin with. Man I feel sorry for Chiefs fans, September and they're already looking forward to the draft in April. It's a tough call with such a large spread but I like the Chargers laying the points. Watch out for the Back-Door cover though.

Packers -3.5 vs. the Bears
Usually these teams play close games. The Pack gave the people who chose them in the King of the Hill pools a scare last week as they were down early to the upstart Panthers. So who knows what's going to happen on Sunday. But the Bears offensive line is doing their best impression of swiss cheese. Cutler won't last long if they don't begin to jell. Packers should cover with ease.

Redskins +5.5 at the Cowboys
If you haven't noticed yet, I really like what I see out of the Washington Redskins this season. Both in fantasy and reality. The Cowboys almost lost to the 49'ers last week and they're pretty banged up. Romo has a rib/lung issue, Dez Bryant is dealing with a quad problem and Felix Jones is already nicked up with a separated shoulder. All 3 will probably be on the field but they will be without Miles Austin. Take the points.


Bengals Jerome Simpson has enough pot in his house for all of us!



Over 6 pounds of marijuana was found in (or on the way to) the home of Bengals 2008 second round pick Jerome Simpson.  There were also drug weighing scales on the premise. Simpson has not been arrested as of the time of this post.  
The Bengals are actually considering changing their name to the Cincinnati Inmates and their colors to black and white because just about every player on the team is a criminal. 

Andy Dalton is all for the change, because Bengal Orange totally clashes with his orange hair.

Guru Week 3 Picks


Falcons +1.5 at the Bucs
I think the elite Falcons will build off of the momentum from last Sundays win against the self proclaimed dream team.  Roddy White and Mr. Ice will prove to be too much for the up and coming Bucs.
Steelers -10.5 at the Colts
The Colts defense has been terrible for years and the offense is terrible without Peyton Manning.  2 terrible units versus one great team means blow out.
Lions -3.5 at the Vikings
I have officially jumped on the Lions bandwagon.  The team is playing great on both sides of the ball and I expect them to continue the trend against the downward trending Vikings.

Stolen Dolphin Jerseys

Two men were arrested and charged with stealing Miami Dolphin jersey's from the Sun Life Stadium store during Sunday's Dolphins game against the Houston Texans. No big deal right? Well take a look at the video clip below. The two defendants show up to court the next day wearing Dolphin jerseys!!! Maybe their Armani suits were at the dry cleaners? It's probably all just a big misunderstanding as Nelson Walker one of the co-defendants ONLY has 29 prior felonies. Here is my question, is there anyone even on the Dolphins worth having a jersey of? I dont think those Chad Henne jerseys are flying off the shelves. Lets at least hope they were copping the #13 Dan Marino throwback.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Gabbert Tenure Begins




One day after pimping Gabbert on my WWT pickup list the Jags name him the starter next week. You most likely still have a chance to add him to your roster. But you don't want to wait and miss your opportunity. Like I said, I like Jake Locker more on a long-term basis. But Gabberts getting his shot now and time is a luxury that doesn't last in this game.

I don't see him putting up video game #'s like Cam Newton but he could be a decent bye week start for you in a couple of weeks. His supporting cast isn't bad and Jack Del Rio has to be on the hottest seat in the NFL coaching circle. The Jags may want to see Gabbert the rest of the season which could serve two purposes. They can tell if there investment this year has promise, or they could find out early that Gabbert isn't the answer, fire Del Rio and the new regime will have a great shot in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. New regimes = new franchise qb's. Expect a heavy dose of MJD in the coming weeks.

2011 NFL MVP award announced 16 weeks prematurely

In stunning fashion, the NFL has decided to award its 2011 MVP honor to Peyton Manning before week 3 of the season. Peyton is now a 5 time NFL MVP to go along with his 11 pro-bowl selections.

The Indianapolis Colts have won their division 7 of the past 8 years (99-29 record over that time) as well as capturing the 2006 Super Bowl, are now the leagues bottom feeders without Peyton, which proves the immensity of his value.

Peyton has declined the 2011 MVP award because he feels it should go to someone who will actually play in 2011, but he has accepted the ugly shirt award for 2011 and claims he will cherish it dearly.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Jeff George to come back and take over the Colts offense?


The Indianapolis Colts drafted Jeff George with the #1 overall pick in the 1990 NFL draft. To say it didn't work out would be kind. He cursed the home fans out, fought with his head coach, and held out demanding a trade. George was 14-35 in his four years with the Colts, including that magical 1-15 1991 season. But home is where the heart is, George who was born in Indianapolis stated that he could pick up the Colts offense "in a matter of days" reported Sam Farmer of the LA Times via Twitter on Monday. Look, the Colts are terrible without Manning, why not bring George in? You have to love how Jeff George acts like he has won multiple Super Bowl rings, when really he owns a 46-78 career record as a starting quarterback. Word has it that he is still rocking the pedophile mustache.

Tiki's Girl



At least one of them is working! Traci Johnson the 24 year old NBC intern who Tiki Barber recently got engaged to posed for the September issue of Maxim magazine. He isn't scoring on the field, but it looks like he is taking it to the house off the field. Maybe since Tiki's NFL comeback was a fumble, Traci is posing to help out with those alimony payments he has to fork over to his ex-wife. BTW, B.J. the Greek is looking for an intern for the Guru's site. To apply please send a video similar to that of Miss Traci Johnson's. Thank you, B.J.

Mrs. Tom Brady


Mrs. Tom Brady aka Gisele Bundchen was pulled over this weekend in Cape Cod for speeding. Gisele was cruising at 70 mph in her Cadillac Escalade in a 55 mph zone. Guess what? The police officer that pulled her over let her go with just a verbal warning! What, no cavity search???

Michael Boley Throws Football at an Interns Face!

When I saw this live I was like, "Did he just hit that kid in the face?"

The answer is - "YES HE DID"

WWT (Waiver Wire Tuesday) Week 3






Last week I hit on a few of my pick-ups… most notably and much to my chagrin, Steve Smith and Cam Newton put up solid #’s again. I own Smith and actually had him in my flex as Knowshon was out. So it was bittersweet to see him succeed. I was oh so close to putting Denarius Moore on the list as I’ve been watching him all preseason and Oak had their top 2 WR's and top TE out, but now it’s too late. Unless you have a top waiver priority you’ll likely miss out on him. He made me realize that I should be going out on a limb with my advice. So from here on out I’ll attempt to put BREAKOUT players on my WWT list before they breakout. So they have a higher likelihood of still being on waivers. This also increases the chances of these players being major BOOM/BUST candidates. But that’s what wins fantasy championships. Grabbing LeRon McClain this week after JC Superstar goes down is obvious and you don’t need me to tell you that. You can find countless other sites making those same recommendations. I’m here to help you zag, when everyone else is zigging.

Blaine Gabbert – It’s only a matter of time before this kid gets his shot. How on earth they though Luke McCown was starter quality is beyond me. He’ll have a decent supporting cast too.



Matt Hasselbeck – I like the longterm prospects of Jake Locker better than Gabbert but Hasselbeck is entrenched as the starter until his health fails him. Which could be next week for all I know. But until further notice, Matt is the starter and adds solid depth at the position and could even start for you if you’re desperate. He's amassed 260 and 360 yds respectively over the first two weeks of the season and this week he faces the Broncos.




Roy Helu – Tim Hightower is the unquestioned starter but I believe its only a matter of time before Helu earns a 50/50 split. We all know about the late round RB gems Shanny has produced and it seems as though he’s found another one in Roy Helu. He’s perfect for the zone blocking scheme they’re running. A savvy owner may have already acquired his rights. If not grab him now before someone else does.




Delone Carter – pretty much the same story with Carter. He’s cutting into Addai’s carries and it’ll soon be a 50/50 split. Or when Addai misses time like he inevitably does, Carter will step in and grab hold of the starting role. Even without Peyton the starting RB in Indy is flex worthy. Donald Brown is garbage so he’s not a concern.

Eric Decker – if he’s not on a roster yet, he will be tomorrow morning. Put a bid in for him if he’s available. Lloyd has a groin issue and if he’s slow to recover he’ll get increased targets again. Orton trusts this youngster and the Broncos should be playing from behind pretty often with that shoddy defense.




Antonio Brown – Brown seems to have passed Emmanuel Sanders on the depth chart and I’m not sure he’s ever going to look back. He lit it up in the preseason but he’s now starting to make good on his promise when it counts. He’s not startable yet but grab him now before it’s too late. He’s my POW Pickup-Of-the-Week.

Jared Cook – this kid that has been compared to Calvin Johnson in ability by his old coach Steve Spurrier. The new staff raved about him all offseason and I think his role will increase as the season progresses. Get in on the ground floor.

The Live Five - Week 2



1. Packers 2-0 - The undefeated Super Bowl Champs are on top of the rest, nuff said.
2. Pats 2-0 - Offense looks like they are playing college defenses. Like Ocho said, "It's video game sh*t."
3. Jets 2-0 - Defense looks to be the class of the league, not much new there.
4. Lions 2-0 - Handed out all around thumpings the first two weeks (see earlier post).
5. Texans 2-0 - Not 100% sold, but this team may have turned a corner in 2011 - Defense ranked #1.

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Evolution of the Pom Pom

There are many old time traditions at a football game - Tailgating, booze, food, friends, sportsmanship, competition, etc.  All of those are great, but possibly the greatest of traditions is the Pro Football Cheerleader.  Cheerleaders have been around for decades and they bring a ton of excitement to the game experience.  Check out a photo of an old time Miami Dolphin Cheerleading squad from the 1970's.


Notice the large over sized pom-pom's, 1970's in every way.  It is hard not to equate the size of the pom-pom with the decade's over grown pubic hair craze.   As the years went by and bushes were trimmed, the pom-pom evolved into a nice manageable poof, stylish, but almost non-existent - See recent Dolphin Cheerleaders:


Looks to be nice, trimmed and ready for action.

The Detriot Lions look like a Juggernaut


This team has only won their division 3 times in history and Prince was still partying the last time the Lions made the playoffs, in 1999.

Now its 2011 and The Lions rolled to a 2-0 start, with a point differential of plus 52 points. (75 for, 33 against).

The defense is big and quick, led by last years first round pick Ndamu(King)kong Suh, pictured above ripping Jake Delhommes head off.

Plus the Lions offense has been stellar.  Matt Stafford has the 4th best QB rating in the NFL thus far, and with the weapons around him it is apparent he will have more to show us in the coming weeks.

Will be fun to see how far this young, talented team goes in 2011.

Jamaal Charles tears ACL - Done for the Year

Last year's fantasy sensation JamChar went down yesterday with a torn ACL and will miss the rest of the 2011 season. Tough break for the Chiefs, who have now lost their best defensive and offensive players in consecutive weeks.


On the bright side, JamChar will have plenty of time to hang out with hot chicks while rehabbing the injury at his personal table.

Week 2 Pick Results

Jets jumped all over the Jags this week giving BJ a win and ringing up a loss for The Scholar.  The Panthers scored a late touchdown to rack up a back door cover, locking in a late 1 PM loss for BJ and the Guru.

GuruScholarBJ
Pick 1Packers -9.5Jags +9.5Packers -9.5
Pick 2NE -7Tampa +3Steelers -14
Pick 3Browns -2.5Skins -4Jets -9.5
Week 22-1-01-2-02-1-0
Season2-1-01-2-02-1-0